If you’re going out to pick-up women, chances are you have interests beside – and if you don’t, you need to acquire them.
Personally, I have a side interest. It’s called Star Wars, and it dominated my life for the periods that women weren’t important. Is that a coincidence? Probably not.
It’s hard to hold the six-part epic mono-myth in your brain and a woman beside you simultaneously – the same predicament that a lot of Star Wars are probably experiencing right now. They can’t get a lot of girls while concentrating on how ridiculous rich the subculture of Star Wars geekery is.
Here are some pick-up lines you can use the next time you’re at Comic-Con. You’ll be rolling in women dressed like Twi’Lek slave girls.
Leia’s not the only one with nice buns.
You might recall, in the first theatrically released film that Leia Organa, Alderaan’s favorite daughter had her hair done up in an iconic bun (and her breasts taped down with electric tape). Her hair looked very firm, as do some of the rears of girls hanging out in Slave Leia gear at various Cons. Use this, then get them to spank you.
I find your lack of nudity disturbing.
Best if delivered through a Darth Vader cowl, with a breath-hiss – tell that special lady you see that there’s only two things that you hate – the Rebel Alliance encroaching on the Empire’s strongholds, and the dominion of pants over the parts of our bodies that should be set loose. Can Darth Vader make someone get naked? We’ll find out.
My barge isn’t the only thing that’s ready to explode.
This is in reference to Jabba the Hut – everybody’s favorite stereotype of a rich, fat dude who keeps girls in chains by the bed he can never leave, amirite? In Return of the Jedi, his barge exploded. Is comparing your nether-regions to a barge so large that it can house Rancors, slave-women, and lavish parties inappropriate?
Probably. But you’re delivering Star Wars pick-up lines. They don’t need to be tactful.