Twitter is a medium that’s still in relative infancy – bringing joy to people who can tweet their 140 character messages. Celebrities use it to shill product, comedians use it to broadcast their wit, and sometimes you can use it to get girls.
Seriously. Sometimes you can use it to get girls – you can use anything to get girls if you set your mind to it. Want to know how? Here’s how – with Twitter pick-up lines.
Hey. You should DM me.
What’s DM’ing? Direct messaging? What happens during direct messaging? Naughty things, based off the direct messages that have leaked to the internet, which include Paramore’s Haley Williams tweeting her breasts, Lil’ Bow Wow asking to get a prostitute to blow him, and so many naked pictures of Ron Artest. You ask as girl to DM you – you’re getting into naughty territory. So go there.
I cannot express my affections for you in just 140 characters.
Nobody can express anything in 140 characters – which is why I’m amazed that Twitter has flourished the way it has. It’s not that surprising, we live in a society where individual expression keeps getting choked out for corporate interests.
So tell her that you can’t adequately express yourself through the Twitter. That you need words. If you tweet it @ her, she might even retweet what you’ve said, and that may lead to god knows what else.
A little way to qualify someone through Twitter – just tweet it at someone and hope they qualify themselves to you. It follows the same principles of qualification as you’d find in person – they tell you what they’re about, thereby selling themselves to you and giving you the power in the interaction. Or they’ll think you’re a crazy person. Either way, it’s worth a shot.
You can use Twitter to update people on your life, you can reference it in real life to get girls – really the service is a godsend. Bringing us into a brave new world. Use it for good if you can – but if you can use it for evil, we don’t mind either.